Last year at this time, I was not a mom. I don’t mean to point out a technical reality, because I actually technically was a mother with an unborn son. However, until I was able to behold Georgie, my heart had not really “mother-fied.” Even then, it had a lot of melting to do.
Stepping back from a full time job was hard. I knew it was best for our family’s situation, but I wasn’t thrilled about the idea. Knowing that possibility of grad school or law school was being overshadowed by something greater wasn’t easy either. This was not because I wasn’t madly in love with my son. It was just a big paradigm shift.
In a way, I think my desires act a lot like CDs in a five disc player. During different seasons of my vocation one CD is playing, but the others are still there. They haven’t been ejected, but acting on them right now would be like rocking Georgie to sleep with Bruno Mars. Not totally off base, but not quite right.
With the help of a years worth of Georgie, my husband’s encouragement, and some oxytocin, I now really feel like a mom. What’s more, I love being a mom.
Here are some things my high school and college friends would be surprised to know I do now.
1. Wake up early
2. Meal plan
3. Clean regularly (not just straighten up)
4. Kill spiders (if Josh isn’t home)
5. Research nutrition
Those might seem like little things, but for me they’re huge. And, they were all motivated by my son.
Being a mom is humbling. One of my new friends in Flagstaff pointed out that we don’t get an evaluation on how we are doing, no measurable praise from some outsider looking in. For me, that was difficult, and the thing that has helped me grow the most. I am now motivated by the maintenance of Georgie’s well being, or happiness, not by recognition from others.
I’m obviously prideful, but not as much as I was before I became a mom. Only Giorgio could humble me in such a major way that I would actually allow.
Happy birthday to you.